beauty

The image of our body is something very personal and at the same time very public. Everyone and anyone can see your body. You can drop clothing over it, hide beneath layers and layers of fabric, or slip into something that shows off your curves. In our current culture, if you do not have the most popular of physiques, then you are on the edge. There is nothing you can wear that will bring you into the fold of the populace. You are an outcast.

This may sound a bit harsh to many of you, but I have found this to be true throughout the entirety of my life. It has taken me years to stop adhering to the common notions of beauty and find it within myself. Over these years I have learned that beauty is not static. Beauty is ever changing. Beauty is much, much more than skin deep.

I bring this topic to the fore for a few reasons. 

1) my body’s image has changed drastically within the past 2 years

2) my body’s image is still changing 

3) I need this reminder, just as much as anyone else.

So, I repeat: 

Beauty is not static. Beauty is ever changing. Beauty is much, much more than skin deep.

shades of twilight

For those of you who know me, you know my dislike for Twilight and Fifty Shades. Before I delve any further, let me dispel any such notions that you think my dislike is due to ignorance. That, I have not read the books, therefore I cannot possibly judge them. I have read the first two books in the Twilight series, and the entire three books of Fifty Shades.

While these series of books illustrates the dominant/submissive relationship they do so in an unhealthy manner. The dominant character controls every aspect of the submissive’s life. He decides what she wears, what she eats, which friends she sees, which activities she does, etc. Everything is controlled by the dominant. This dynamic is extremely prevalent within the romance genre, but it is not a healthy model for a good relationship. I repeat, because this is important, this is not a healthy model!

However, all of that being said, the Fifty Shades series has brought the world of BDSM into the mainstream. Lingerie stores, sex shops, theaters, and even cookbooks are taking the premise of this book and satirizing the hell out of it.   

As amusing as this is, this would not be possible unless the majority of people knew what the series was about. And, here comes the frightening part, at least for me. The majority of readers do not recognize that this is an abusive relationship. The majority of people do not realize that this is not the model for a dominant/submissive relationship.

If you are new to the world of S&M and have no idea what it entails, then this book could serve as a reference for you as long as you were able to remove the relationship dynamics illustrated within.

So, now that I’ve bashed a book series, let me offer you books that illustrate good relationships.

The first is Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake and Merry Gentry series. These books offer a decent amount of sexy, lustful scenes, with a healthy dose of murder mysteries and paranormal activity. However, this series is not for you if you have no interest in reading stories about vampires, werewolves, fairies and other creatures of the nether realms. Also, the graphic violence that is present may not be for everyone.

The next series of books is The Black Jewels series by Anne Bishop. While this story takes place within the fantasy realm there are not many creatures of the night entwined and the violence is less graphic than LKH.

The final recommendation is Kushiel’s Dart by Jaqueline Carey. This author is new to me,  and I cannot say anything for other books in her series, but this book exhibited a strong female character that was submissive behind closed doors. 

I have yet to find books that are not within the fantasy genre to exhibit a healthy dominant/submissive relationship. If you know of one I’d be more than happy to check it out!